Is it normal to be unsure of who I am, and who I like?
You and your friends may feel like you’re navigating a swamp of romantic crushes, and friendships, and gender identities, and pronouns… which is all super-cool but also can be super-confusing. Dr. Concannon says, “we experts call this time in your life the “Individuation period,” when you’re figuring out who you are separate from your family. Sometimes that can be hard because who your parents thought you were— and who you thought you were– isn’t what you were expecting it to be. Who you’re attracted to might be different than you thought it was going to be. You might not be attracted to anyone right now because that's not where you are—so that can be confusing. These days there’s a real pressure to identify your sexual orientation, but there shouldn’t be. You don’t have to decide who you are and who you want to be right now! Also, you’re figuring out who you want to surround yourself with, and you might decide that you want to separate yourself from your friends and change your friend groups. That can feel really scary, and it can also feel lonely, which is a really hard emotion. But it’s all normal, and part of this process of individuation. You might feel like you don’t totally fit in with your family anymore and that can be really frightening. Sometimes that means having big talks with your parents, and worrying that they might not accept you for who you are. That’s scary too! But if you’re feeling unsure or lonely or scared, this is an important time to find an adult you DO trust: an aunt or uncle or school counselor or teacher or a godparent or a coach—these are all good people to talk to. My no. 1 piece of advice is to talk to SOMEONE and not keep it all inside.”